tree-bythewater

and so I survived year 1.

I am convinced that I royally screwed up the second semester, projects and exams and all.
This is how I'm conditioning myself to not be too shocked when I receive my results and see a 2-point-something GPA.

I'm currently in my second (third? second?) week (out of 6) of my holidays. And because holidays tend to bore people and do things to their heads when they're not going out and distracting themselves with movies and friends, I have recently found myself gripped by boredom/mild depression.
Things like how I'm not sure I really want to continue pursuing my course of study in uni next time.
I have my JC friends to thank, because they are deciding to do ADM (Arts, Design and Media) after receiving their A's results.

For once, I am full of ideas and inspiration. But of course, nothing is that easy.
Now I simply lack the mood/energy/balls to put them on paper.
Some of the projects I want to carry out:

*MUST* Get done:
Desire - Art trade for magnetic-porcupine


*Probably will do*
'Coin-Operated Boy' - This is a personal piece that I'd quite like to complete.

There's also an idea for a comic I have in my head right now. I'll elaborate more when I post up character sketches. I kinda want to chuck a lot of stuff in.
Suffice it to say right now that it's a mor(t)ality tale. Yup.

Can someone tell me how to write an antihero character? I'm enamoured with the idea (as well as the word).
Okay, maybe more the word than the idea. But I think a (seriously) flawed protagonist is an interesting concept.

just so i can dash all your hopes of me being dead.

sem 2 is half gone, and i'm just getting by.
i haven't been drawing in forever, even though i have an ART TRADE that's overdue.
sorry stef!

i just can't seem to sit down and get anything done. not even write.

" 'cos you ain't never gonna burn my heart out,... "
i'm thinking it's better to have never loved, than for your love to die before you gave it away.

oh and Muse is coming to Singapore in February! woot.

[EDIT]
as a Christmas gift to myself (yeah, like i need a reason to buy stuff), i bought Neil Gaiman's American Gods two weeks ago while Borders had a sale.
i'm only about a quarter of the way through now, but needless to say, it's already blown me away. (well duh, it's Neil Gaiman).

to all of you who believe and/or celebrate, Merry Christmas!

i'm supposed to be studying like NOW, but as you can see, i've given up.
i'm having my semestral exams next week. and last week i had a huge (group) presentation that accounted for 50 percent of my module mark for one of my modules.
that was epic fail.

and i know i haven't put up anything lately, i've been a lazy bastard.
and i haven't been really busy, i'm like comatose during lectures and such.

i think (i hope) i'm losing weight. haha all thanks to my cca.
CAPOEIRA ROCKS!

EDIT:
oh and i'm starting on portraits again. 'cos i can't come up with anything original to draw.
don't get me wrong, i love my portrait artists.
and i'm on facebook, add me and fuel my ego (and give me something to waste time on; looking through your photos. creepy stalker hehe).
www.facebook.com/jack.tjie

okay.
i've made it through term tests, that oral assessment, and the kids' camp (which just ended today).
for all three of my examined modules, i screwed up one question in the papers each. so there.
oh, and in exchange of 2 nights of staying up till 2am to do research (in between youtubing), i aced my oral assessment. yeah.
the rest of my class had Bs and Cs.

yes, the kids' camp.
if there's one thing i've learnt, it's that nursery to Primary 2 kids are easier to handle than P3s to P6s.
i've taken plenty of shit and attitude from the P3s to P6s. especially the boys.
'cos when they (the boys) are at that age, they start learning all the fucked-up shit from school.
but in general, everything went pretty well.
my friends posted up vids on facebook... nyarghh the kids are too cute~
all the work is worth it just to see them smile.

so i still have 2 weeks of holidays left. i think i'll be spending a lot of time sleeping.
and i want to start writing again. need to get my poetry groove back.

*slips off to watch facebook videos again*

so how're you guys holding up? do tell.

i've sorta made it through 1 month of poly.
i have my term tests coming up next week.
so technically i have this week to prepare.
but it just feels like there's so much to do and i dunno where to start.

i'm not stressed, just lost.
i have a term test to prepare for.
i'm volunteering for a kids'camp in church  the first week of my hols (which by the way is the week right after my exams, 8-12 June).
and i have an oral exam this coming friday, 29 may... but it's a team project, me and a guy in my class.
he's from China, but i think (i hope) we have no communication problem.
only thing being, we had from monday to prepare and i wanted to make the most use of that time.
on thursday i asked him if we could prepare our stuff during our break (which was 3 HOURS long, mind you) and he said yes.
but after our morning class ended, he just disappeared like some ninja.
and he asked ME for my handphone number, moreover.
so we still have this week to prepare, but i don't feel good about this.

i really don't know what to do now.
i don't even want to goddamn pretend that i'll sleep all these problems off.
i feel it's time for me to start taking things like a man and not fuck it up like i did my o's.
right now i don't even want to think about next sem.

well, at least my cca's are my safe haven.
i'm feeling super messed up now, i can't even comment on people's deviations. nyarghhh.

-EDIT-
perhaps i shouldn't have gotten so tense.
anyway, i'm now working something out with my partner for the oral exam.
i just realised something funny when checking the journals and deviations on my messages page.
i was half-whispering to myself, "please don't let it be a mind-blowing deviation so i won't be compelled to comment and spend time thinking of what to write."
hahakthxbai.